skiesofarcadia's Xanga

I wish.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:55:29 GMT

I wish I was doing better in all aspects of my life. I wish I didn't have to drop a class to save this term. I wish my entire GPA didn't depend on this one single term and whether or not I get into the J-school. I wish I had some leeway to get a lower grade. I don't know why I took Russian, I had no idea it was so hard. I'm not doing well in PS, either. I can barely tread water, much less branch out and excel like I feel the pressure to be doing. Like everyone else is doing. I wish Community College had prepared me for this at all. I don't know how I could take 16 credits of this. I'm run so ragged I don't have the free time for anything. I wish my GF and I didn't fight so much. I wish I could see her more. I wish she wasn't so jealous. I wish I had all the hours in the day to do my millions of homework assignments and things to memorize and learn. I wish I could park on campus. I wish I wouldn't get so many parking tickets for parking near campus. I wish I lived closer to campus. I wish everyday wasn't a struggle. I wish I could still smoke cigarettes. I wish I didn't drink so much. I wish I wasn't drinking now. I wish I could keep up my air of confidence, I like how much everyone likes me here. I wish I didn't feel this depression coming on, I wish I didn't feel myself slipping. I wish that I wouldn't turn back into someone with a dark aura that no one wants to be around. I wish I could always be attractive.

Everyday I think about the military and how this civilian life is not for me and I wish I had not left. I'm so tempted to go back, so tempted to take the commission, so tempted to live that life so far away from here and all this.

I wish my truck hadn't got hit by a garbage truck. I wish life would just cut me some slack. I wish everything would stop being so awful for a week or two, I wish I could sit on my laurels, I wish I could relax.

I wish I was like everyone else, so I could handle all of this well. I wish I was like everyone else, so I could do as well as them. I wish I didn't feel like just laying down and dying. I wish I didn't feel like a failure. I wish I was doing better.

I wish I was allowed to feel any of this, however. There's no room for failure, no room for excuses, no room for mistakes, no room. No anything. Just do it, and do it to Air Force standards. That is the only option. And that is what I will do. HOOAH.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:01:06 GMT

Borderlands is amazing for all of it's cinematic aspects (and looks amazing on my rig), but I'm also in love with the idea of cell shading to begin with. And FPS/RPG hybrid seems to be a workable idea, I had feared they'd implement it like in CoD4, i.e. poorly.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:41:48 GMT

Playing Dragon Age: It was embarrassing to walk into a Gamestop to get it. It represents everything that's wrong with the gaming industry, and it always reminds me of just how many clueless newbs are out there. After asking every other guy in line for DA:O if they wanted a strategy guide after selling it to them... on a console, I get up there, the ONLY guy in line who wanted it on PC, and he didn't say a word to me. He either respected my 1337ness or had drawn his line in the sand as a console newb many eons ago.

Halloween...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 08:29:02 GMT

Brown-leaved vertigo, where skeletal life is known, I remember Halloween, dead cats hanging from poles, little dead are out in droves, I remember Halloween, this day, anything goes.

25th Birthday!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:10:18 GMT

So far, so good. I applied for News Editor of the Daily Emerald yesterday. Life's been busy and this week and last were mid-terms. I'm very nervous about the job, but I'm also very chill. The more I go over the interview in my head, the more I love things I said, and the more I berate myself and say "Dude, that was just stupid..."
My column for this week can be found here. It's about Google's new Android OS.
Facebook is apparently going to start memorializing Facebook pages of the dead. Creepy and just in time for halloween.
Every time I come to Xanga I'm reminded of how barren and cleaned out it is...it had it's day in the sun, like Geocities or Yahoo! chat or Yahoo! Clubs...and as much as I wish it were still very popular, the fact is, anything I write on Facebook gets seen by about 100 people...anything I write here, I'm pretty sure only my dad reads, and he's the only one I update this for, so...haha.
I've been toying with the idea of Twitter...so I can actually get in on a social networking site before it starts dying while it still has that insane-o popular rush.
Girlfriend's being a pain in the ass, I got up early today to some Russian homework and instead just read thew news and Facebooked.
I learned what On Demand was yesterday and caught up on four episodes of NCIS without commercials! Which was awesome! Then I hopped on back to my DVR and watched two episodes of CSI: NY before I passed out.
I should leave for school in like 10 minutes.

Well...

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:53:52 GMT

Settling in is going okay. I'm finding myself a little unnerved by some things, but I suppose that's to be expected. The most important thing is that I'm doing well in school. I can't believe how many friends I've made. I'm also fitting into my columnist role with the Emerald more and more every time I submit a story. :p

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:43:21 GMT

Kind of the worst night in a long time...I went the whole night partying, eating, and drinking without getting a drop on my favorite suit...then while driving home I poured a can of pepsi all over the seat where it went straight to my ass. Couple th...at with the fact that the transmission in my truck went out and I had to drive from Albany to Springfield without first of second gears...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 12:04:27 GMT

Today is the day of the Faux Patriots...when those who have done nothing for their country but act in terror, shed a few more tears and watch TV specials. It's funny that you never see these people on memorial day or veteran's day. I kind of miss the days when sex sold more than fear...at least that's biological.

Dungeons and Dragons Online: Eberron Unlimited, not just a long title, now free!

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 06:39:54 GMT

September 09, 2009

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
TURBINE LAUNCHES FREE-TO-PLAY DUNGEONS & DRAGONS ONLINE®: EBERRON UNLIMITED™

First Premium Free-to-Play Game Now Open For Business

WESTWOOD, MA – September 9, 2009 – Turbine, Inc. announced today the launch of Dungeons & Dragons Online®: Eberron Unlimited™ (DDO Unlimited), a free-to-play massively multiplayer online role playing game (MMORPG) which delivers heart-pounding game play featuring the industry’s best combat system, a massive world with state-of-the-art graphics and gameplay, and a rich set of features that until now could only be found in premium subscription-based MMOs.

I'm not sure what to think of it personally, as I played DDO for like 1 hour 3 years ago and went back to World of Warcraft, as it didn't have half the quality. But it's been three years and they claim to have changed a lot. Shall we see?

The first thing I noticed was that their site was down. I don't think people realize just how many people are willing to play an MMO once it becomes free...
Eventually I found my way onto their forums. There seem to be a lot of people confused at how the internet works in general and a slew of the usual launch problems...high server activity, bugs, lag, servers going down for a few hours due to overload...etc. But they seem to be handling it well, though, they have been operating this MMO for three years...so I should hope so!

The game operates similar to Runescape...base accounts can play a large portion of the game, but VIP/subscription members can access all the exclusive content, gear, and races, including a new one for this "re-launch". Players must earn and unlock many of the facets of the game, even with a VIP account, however, with Turbine's new "Turbine Points" system, similar in nature to Xbox Live or Playstation Points, you can essentially buy whatever it is that you want, without putting in the effort or time. This is a system that seems to work for many "Free2play" MMOs, which, in the end, aren't all that free if you actually want to compete with the hardcore players. Also, there are separate and much smaller forums for free players, while V.I.P. members have access to a massive amount of forums...

I'm downloading the trial as we speak, I've been looking for a new MMO and perhaps, if they've made some improvements, playing for free casually and not wanting to spend my hard-earned cash on stuff in-game...I can get a month or two of enjoyment out of it, while still enjoying other games and not having it suck up my life the way more pay-to-play MMOs are...since you're paying, and any moment you're not playing is wasting...

Still, that's a personal problem, as I scale back my obligation to hardcore gaming and try to rekindle those days of simply having fun and relaxing...

In the end, I just need something to tide me over until The Old Republic or Dragon Age come out! Go Bioware!

In the interim, Turbine is attributing Dungeons and Dragons Online's lackluster sales over the past 3 years to Atari's lack of publisher support and server-side operations, requesting $31 Million USD in reparations, and claiming that Atari did not hold up their end of the contract, citing that they plan on focusing on their own Neverwinter Nights based RPG, another intellectual property set in the Dungeons and Dragons universe, though, not the same game world as Dungeons and Dragons Online.

Turbine, Inc, is also the developer of Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar and Mines of Moria, and Asheron's Call: Throne of Destiny.
Atari is famous as a developer and publisher of Neverwinter Nights, a single/non-massively multiplayer RPG.
More news as the story unfolds.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:48:16 GMT

Enter the bigot and the Captain and the astronomer, one who doesn't even like the stars.
Nicotine, Saline, Caffeine, Gasoline, Dieseline, Maybelline ...all the other "eens" and "eins".
It's not all about "Ein", Mr. Eddie Vedder from accounting.
It means addiction to hate, for other-other-others: ourselves.
Concentrating on these camps in the stars? I see only a constant re-ignition switch, waiting to be hooked up to anything.
Is this our future, it definitely has nothing to do with the present perfect.
Duty: our personal Rheinlands and Jesuseseseseseseseses, we all have it or them or demons, or all of the above, but especially to ourselves.
Go Sig. Move every Sig.
Is this what is to be malcontent (elseif; def:dreaming)?
The world speaks to me in whispers of the starry dynamo, of machinery.
I see only industry and the mass reaping.
I agree with this. It even makes me happy.
To plot the stars for future exploitation and hatred.
I think a boncentration bamp would look absolutely "stellar" near Ceti Alpha VI.
This is the disanthropist that I have become.